Sometimes we learn things from a totally unrelated topic that can be applied to marriage. One that I encountered recently was ‘don’t beat yourself up over past mistakes and things you can’t change.’
We all have those moments in our marriage we regret, where we wish we’d never said or done what we did. But once we have admitted our fault to our spouse and resolved to try and not do it again, then it is time to move on. Sadly many of us, women in particular, keep harking back and going on over the experience. Beating ourselves up like this does no on any good, not you, not your spouse and not your family either. Once it has been dealt with, you need to let it go. If your spouse has forgiven you, you need to learn to forgive yourself.
We can do a lot of harm to our marriage and to our children if we keep harking back to past mistakes whether they are our own or someone else’s. We need to learn to let go.
The book I was reading which made me think how this applied to marriage had absolutely nothing to with marriage. It was Write His Answer- a Bible Study for Christian Writers by Marlene Bagnull,njoying and finding helpful. Although it was talking about the writing experience and not letting the past get the better of you, I could see where it would apply to marriage as well.
What happens when we keep dwelling on the past is that it colors the present and the future. It stops us from doing things we ought and from moving on in our married life. The past needs to stay in the past and not be resurrected each time you are feeling low. I guarantee it will only make you feel worse if you do that. So for you own sake, as well as that of your marriage, you need to let go.
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