I fumble and bumble along with this parenting of teenagers. I wrote yesterday about how I wrestle with biting my tongue and NOT offering advice and butting in where I will only make things worth. But, it dawned on me that is only half of the stories of trying to interact with teenagers. The other half is working hard to stay connected NO MATTER WHAT.
It is definitely not easy to keep talking and connecting to teenagers. Even young adolescents start getting crabby and snarky and pushing us away. There may be things that we really wish that we didn’t know or hear about, but I think that natural tendency to estrangement makes it all the more important that we work hard to stay connected on some level to our teenagers.
There are days when I wish that my skin was tougher and that I did not get my feelings hurt by the lashing out and disrespectful comments that seem to slip so easily from teenager’s tongues. I’ve also thought that I put up with things from my kids that I would never tolerate for a minute from another adult, partner, coworker or whatever. If my relationship with my kids was anything other than parent-child, I’m sure I would have given up trying to connect long ago! Still, I keep trying. I start conversations, express interest, share details about my day, show understanding—anything I can do to show that I’m interested, my love is unconditional, and hang on to the connection through these rough and bumpy teenage years.
Experts say that parents need to stay involved and connected—even when our children are pushing hard to get away from us. That is their job at this age—to strive for independence. And our job is to continue being the parent—the concerned, committed and caring adult. We just have to find increasingly creative ways of showing that!
See Also: Too Old to Hug and Cuddle
What Do I Really Need to Know?