It’s hard to find good quality movies to watch, either with your family or by yourself, movies that will leave you either entertained or educated without leaving you feeling like you need a hot bath afterward to scrub off the filth. From time to time, we’ll be posting brief reviews of movies we’ve encountered that didn’t sit well with us, as well as why they didn’t, so you can be forewarned and have more information in your own decision whether you would or would not like to see the show.
My five “Don’t Waste Your Time” movies today are, in no particular order:
1. “A Walk to Remember.” This movie is based on a book by Nicholas Sparks, and while I enjoyed the book, I did not enjoy the movie. To be fair, I must state that I did not actually watch it. I had every intention of doing so, but the first five minutes were so riddled with mentions of male anatomy that I decided it wasn’t worth my time to continue. I have better things to do than listen to body part jokes, thank you.
2. “In Her Shoes.” I had high hopes for this movie. A sister flick; surely I’d enjoy it. Again, I didn’t finish it. I gave this one a full twenty minutes but in those twenty minutes saw more bed scenes, talking about bed scenes, looking forward to the next bed scenes, and analyzing past bed scenes than I ever want to hear, see or analyze again.
3. “Cabaret.” I have heard mentions made of this movie my entire life. It’s a classic, a standard, I was told. Everyone has to see this film. I did and I was very unimpressed. The plot was depressing, not one character had any morals at all, and we discover that Liza Minelli’s character and her male friend are both romantically involved with the same man. I waded my way through that one, waiting for the grand moment of revelation where I would say, “Ah! That is why this is a classic!” but it never came.
4. “Hearts and Minds.” This is a documentary made about the conflict in Vietnam. They interview veterans, most of which had been very disenchanted with the United States and the government, and then right in the middle of the film we go with a GI into a Vietnamese house of ill repute. And we stay there with him the whole time. I would say that at least five to ten minutes was spent watching this . . . interchange, and I do mean that the camera was right there. It was blatant pornography disguised as a fact-seeking film. I do not know why the producers felt it was even relevant to include such footage in a documentary. But that scene notwithstanding, the whole film left me with a bad taste in my mouth. If you’d like to know about a great Vietnam documentary, check back here in movie reviews in a couple of days and I’ll share one with you I really found useful.
Side note: when I went to get the link for this article from Amazon.com, I did find that it was rated R. However, the packaging obtained from the libary did not indicate any rating at all and led me to believe that it had not been rated. However, this still does not explain what place a scene of that nature has in a war documentary.
5. “A Chorus Line.” This is another so-called classic. Being told that it had run on Broadway for years and is one of the world’s most critically acclaimed musicals, I pounced on it when I saw it for rent. I was terribly disappointed. The basic theme is that these singers/dancers from all walks of life overcome their differences to put on a play. You’d think that would be fun. What it really boiled down to was a long recitation of all the garbage each of them went through to get where they are now, with no real redemption at the end to balance out that garbage. I found it depressing and demoralizing.
6. “Gigi.” Louie Jordan is at his handsome best in this film as a rich playboy who enjoys spending his money on his friends. One particular friend is Gigi, a young girl whom he treats largely like a little sister. What we come to learn is that her grandmother has been grooming her to become his mistress, and when he wants to marry her instead, her grandmother is disappointed. What kind of message is that?
So there you have it: six films I’m sorry I wasted my time on. Stay tuned to movie reviews for more lists in future – our goal is to bring you the very best.
Links to movies I did like:
The Bachelor and the Bobby-soxer