Up until the mid-twentieth century, a dual income family was almost unthinkable. The man was the breadwinner, and his wife was the homemaker. Women had a distinct sphere in which they worked, and they rarely left the home without their husband. The structure was not questioned or challenged; it was simply the way things were done.
Times have changed. Around eighty percent of married couples in the United States are now dual income earners, meaning that both husband and wife work outside the home to provide a solid, consistent income for their families. This number is the highest it’s ever been, and dual income families are now easily the societal norm.
Though advocates for traditional family structure have decried the trend, arguing that a woman should accept her customary responsibilities in the home and to her children, the statistics speak for themselves. Most American women now contribute to the family income, and nearly all claim to find a practical balance between work and family. What is the secret to maintaining stability?
Listen to your children, and spend as much time with them as possible. Research
has shown no discernible adverse effects of a working mother on children. However, in a dual income family, as in a marriage, work responsibilities can all too easily overwhelm family obligations. Make sure your children get the quality time that they deserve with you and your spouse. Take your children on vacation with you, and focus on family fun.
Take care to address any concerns your children may have regarding the time you spend at work. The most important thing is to make sure your kids know that you are there for them, no matter the work situation.
Be attentive to your spouse and his or her concerns. Many dual income earners find themselves overwhelmed with resentment or jealousy over their spouse’s career.
Men in particular tend to question their own value in the family structure when their wife begins working. Both husband and wife may feel neglected if his or her spouse is absorbed in their job. The key is to communicate your anxieties and wishes to your spouse. Don’t feel ashamed to ask for more time with your husband. Don’t be afraid to request that your wife pay more attention to your children or clean up a bit more around the house. Strive to consider your marriage as a partnership, not a rivalry. You are working together to support your household, both financially and emotionally.
Finally, don’t forget to set boundaries between home and work. Nurture your family bonds by leaving work at work. Make the most of the time you have with your spouse and children to enjoy each other’s company, discuss feelings and needs, and have a good time. It is not impossible to enjoy a fulfilling family life while ensuring financial stability with a dual income. Just do your best to stay connected with your family, and to be loving, considerate, and reliable despite a demanding work schedule.