It’s the start of the new school year and everyone is excited (and nervous) from parents to high school kids to kindergarteners. For some kids, the beginning of school doesn’t mean the reuniting of friends, it signifies that start of another year of loneliness and anxiety. This can be especially true for children who have special needs.
Children can be cruel to other kids, especially when there are things they don’t understand, like why someone is in wheelchair or use crutches or why someone has to cough all the time. Kids often see someone that’s different and since they don’t know what to say or do, they end up picking on that other child, leaving the child who is “different” out in the cold.
In my daughter’s case with cystic fibrosis, she takes pills every single time she eats or drinks anything besides fruit or water. And while she doesn’t have much of a constant “CF cough”, she may someday. In addition, people with CF tend to have a low body weight, which can be socially difficult, especially for boys. Each of these is an opportunity for being teased by other kids.
One of the first things you should do to ease your child into the new school year, especially if there has been trouble in the past or this is a new school, is to educate the teacher on your child’s condition. Even if the special need isn’t one that qualifies your child for special education, if it affects your child at all while she is in school, the teacher should know about it. Many organizations have special instructional flyers to give to teachers to inform them of the condition and what it may mean for the child during the day. For example, children with CF need to eat a larger amount of food and sometimes more often than other children. They also need unlimited access to the bathroom due to the digestive aspects of CF. They need all children and staff to use hand sanitizer to prevent the spread of germs, and need to have easy access to the pills they take when they eat. Some kids with CF may even need to do other treatments at some point during the day. While it may not affect her ability to learn, you child’s teacher needs to be aware of these things.
Secondly, consider educating the other students. Have your child talk about her condition in an open and honest way. She can make a presentation to the class on why she has to take pills, or why she needs crutches to help her walk. She can also talk about the activities she enjoys and invite the other children to ask questions about the condition whenever they want to. Classmates can even offer up what makes them all different from each other. The other children will be more comfortable when they witness your child taking medication or doing a treatment and your child won’t be as embarrassed about these things.
When the door is open for honesty, compassion and understanding, and children are allowed to ask questions and talk about what makes each other different, the fears and anxiety are able to melt away and new friendships are able to develop.