The definition of secondary infertility is an inability to get pregnant after a previous successful pregnancy. Emotions run high regardless of whether this is your first or fourth baby. There are some emotional issues that are specific to secondary infertility.
There is a definite lack of sympathy in society for women trying for a second, third or subsequent baby. There is a general feeling that the woman should be grateful for the child or children that she has, rather than focusing so much on having another baby. The support that women get from others when trying to conceive the first baby is often not there for women experiencing secondary infertility.
Women often have these thoughts even without the input of other people. They feel that they should be grateful to have one baby and wonder if they are being selfish for wanting another. This can make the pain of not conceiving even greater. Try not to do this to yourself. You are not selfish for wanting another baby and a sibling for your child.
Finding support isn’t always easy, but it is important. Choose the people that you confide in carefully. Avoid discussing the issue in depth with those people in your life that are not supportive. Instead find a close friend or family member that is understanding and supportive. Your partner may be a good source of support, especially if he wants more children as much as you do.
If you can’t find a good support system in your friends and family, consider getting professional help. A counselor can help you work through your feelings and the emotional issues that surround trying to conceive. Infertility clinics often have counselors on staff. If yours does not, your doctor can refer you to a professional that is experienced with counseling related to infertility.