I do not want to imply that single parents have the market cornered on exhaustion. Parenting, in general, can be incredibly taxing. Add in a full time job (or two), other relationships and responsibilities, and you’ve got a recipe for a fairly frazzled life. However, for single parents where overextension can be the rule rather than the exception, we need to keep in mind that exhaustion can impair our ability to see clearly, make good decisions, and be truly present to meet the challenges of our families.
There have been those times when I’ve let myself get so far gone into the land of overextension that I haven’t even realized I was losing my grip until it was too late. Now I know that if I’m paying attention, I can see the signs when I’m starting to lose perspective. My body will tell me, even if my brain won’t always cooperate. If I find myself quick to temper or tears, or feeling the aches of too little sleep, or even, strangely enough if I am having trouble sleeping when I know I need the rest–my body is trying to tell me it is getting over-taxed. As a person prone to migraine headaches–I know that a migraine is my body’s way of telling me it has really had too much.
While I can make pretty decent decisions under stress, I cannot make good decisions when I’m exhausted. But, what can a single parent do when he or she is facing the end of the rope? After all, we don’t have spouse or partner to lean on for back-up. Here’s what I’ve learned from experience: involve the kids, take time out, and slow things way down. We call them “do nothing” days and weekends around here. Now that my kids are nearly grown, I can see the benefits of my modeling when they take time out after a busy finals week, or recuperate after a hectic period. We’ve learned together how we absolutely have to slow things down, rent some movies or get a stack of books at the library. Promise yourself you are going to spend an entire day in your pajamas NO MATTER WHAT. Don’t try to do anything that doesn’t feel good and warm and pleasant. The chores will be there when you feel better and the world will not fall apart. Detach–only through detaching from all the “have tos” will you be able to recuperate and rejuvenate. Trust me, it only makes things worse if you push yourself beyond the realms of functioning!
Also: Single Parent Escapes
Are Single Parents More Susceptible to Illness?