Sometimes I see and hear people talking about their marriages and a couple of main themes crop up time and time again. One is that of one person in the couple feeling they have fallen out of love with their partner. If we expect all of our married life to be like the heady first flush when we first fell in love, then we are going to be in for a shock.
Love is more than just an emotion. It is more than just a feeling. Love involves action. Loving is about doing. If we care for someone, we show it by what we do.
So if you are not feeling like you are in love with your spouse any more, why not go back and remember why you fell in love with them. What was it that drew you to that person above all others? What are your spouse’s good qualities? Think about them, write them down and then make an effort each day to thank them for these qualities.
Make an effort each day to do something kind and loving for your spouse..Often when we act in a certain way, our feelings and emotions follow suit. So, if we act in loving way there is a chance our feelings and emotions will fall into line. It might mean spending more time together, getting to know each other all over again and renewing your love.
Talk to each other about how you are feeling and any perceived problems. Your spouse is not a mind read. Unless they know what is bothering you, they can’t do anything about it. Mick and I listened yesterday to someone telling us a story about her and her ex husband. As always is easier to see objectively when one is removed from the situation.
Both my husband and I said afterwards that the problem seemed to be a distinct case of lack of communication between the couple. Neither one listened to and heard what their partner was saying. Either that or they weren’t prepared to put their spouse’s needs and desires above their own.