After struggling through a divorce it can be heart wrenching when your ex finds someone new. Not because you still want to be with them, but because there is now someone new in your children’s lives. For some of us it can be difficult to trust your ex’s judgment about the people they bring in and out of their lives. While you knew the day would eventually come when you both moved on, it can be difficult when the time actually comes. It can bring on a whole new range of emotions. It may feel as if old wounds have been re-opened.
My heart sank when I found out that my son was about to be introduced to my ex’s new love interest. I felt like my role as his mother was being challenged. Being Logan’s mother was sacred to me and I didn’t want to share that role with anyone else.
I was surprised at all of the emotion that started pouring out of me. I thought I had healed from all of the pain of my divorce, but I hadn’t. I went back to feeling rejected and hurt, like somehow I wasn’t good enough. My thoughts and feelings became extremely irrational. I was quickly reminded of just how unfair life really is. After everything that my ex had done to destroy our family I felt like it was unfair that he got to build another one. I knew that in the long run I would be happy, but I was still suffering first-hand the consequences of decisions that he made.
Many women go through similar emotions after going through a divorce. They struggle with their own insecurities, however irrational they may be. It is difficult and there is no easy solution. At times like these, it seems like nothing anyone can say could possibly make it any easier; but know that no matter what happens, you will always be your child’s mother. You cannot be replaced. Your relationship is special and cannot be replicated. There is no need to feel threatened; your child will always love you because you are their mother, forever and always.