My oncologist thought that if I joined a support group for breast cancer survivors that it may help me with some of my stress. When I first walked into the room I was the only one not a member of AARP! I really did not understand how sitting with a bunch of older ladies would be beneficial to me. None of these women have small kids, a full time job and the life of someone under 40. While I was getting to know the women I found that they all were diagnosed post-menopausal well into their golden years. The ladies all had great senses of humor and made jokes about different parts of their cancer journey.
Some things about the support group surprised me was hearing about all of them and their new “girls”. I guess I never thought about the fact that even older women would go through the process to get new breast. I guess it was surprising to me that they would have considered implants, nipple reconstruction and tattooing. I was doing it because I was still young and I wanted breast no matter what. It hit me at that moment that some of the concerns that I had they did as well.
It was nice to have some people that kind of understood how I was feeling but again I am still the only one in the group with small kids to take care of, protect and love all while going through this and trying not to have the kids think that their mom may die. Not one of these women could teach me how to stop crying and stop worrying about DYING and leaving my kids without a mother.
Towards the end of the first meeting a woman a few years younger than me walks in. She was a single mom of a little girl the same age as my youngest. She lived with her parents but tonight she had bad news she had a recurrence that was stage 4 and she was not planning on telling her parents, or her daughter. I really don’t understand this at all how can she not tell her parents? I understand her daughter why make her worry that every day is the last with her mom but didn’t she owe her parents full disclosure?