When my mom had her mini-stroke a few weeks back, it negatively impacted her dementia in a major way. She went from exhibiting mostly mild symptoms with a few moderate ones thrown in, to exhibiting mostly moderate symptoms with a few severe ones thrown in.
If I was gulping about being a caregiver before, I’m triple gulping about it now. I had hoped some of this was related to the stroke and that in time she’d come back to me. But she’s not shown any improvement. If anything, she gets a little worse each day.
This has presented major challenges for me in trying to help her navigate her disoriented days. But I’ve learned some tricks, which I’ve listed below.
1. Patience
Dementia’s not only trying for the victims afflicted by it, it’s trying for those caring for them. Without patience I’m not the only one who’s sunk –so is my mom who’s relying on me to keep it together.
Taking breaks helps. Whatever ways I can de-stress, I absolutely must do them. (Even if it’s just five minutes playing Wii Boxing, which is one of my favorite de-stressing activities lately.)
2. Repetition and Routine
Some excellent advice I gleaned from Keeping Busy: A Handbook of Activities for Persons with Dementia was that repetition and routine are key.
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are now on more or less of a schedule. So are shower times. Quiet time (which sometimes becomes nap time) is from one to three. Bedtime is somewhere between eight and nine with tucking in a requirement.
Shortly after she was released from the hospital our weekly routine incorporated visits from a physical therapist (two to three times a week), an occupational therapist (two times a week), and a nurse (two times a week). Soon their time will be up so I’ll have to come up with new activities to fill that void.
And then there’s church. We take her on Sundays, but my mom wakes up thinking every day is Sunday. I have a battle first thing every day trying to convince her we don’t have to rush off to church because it’s not Sunday.
3. Signs, Calendars, and Activity Boards
Anyone coming to our house will not need to ask where dishes, cups, silverware or the bathroom lives. Signs cover our walls and cabinets trying to help orient my mom and help her be more independent.
The calendar comes in handy when trying to convince her of the day. (But having her cross off the days hasn’t resulted in remembering what day it is any better.)
We have an activity board on the refrigerator that specifies the day and date plus any To Dos (doctor appointments, errands, visitors).
4. Keeping Her Amused
This is a tough one. My mom’s lost a lot of interest in the few things she used to enjoy.
She was always a shopper, and was happy to get out just to browse with me even up until three weeks ago. Now she just doesn’t have the energy.
She also used to like gardening. When I first brought her here she helped me plant flowers in pots, but hasn’t shown much interest in that. (Although today she did help me pluck dead petunia’s from their stems.)
If it’s not too windy she likes to sit on the back deck and watch the planes, birds, and rabbits.
I’ve also discovered she enjoys catalogs. Especially ones with neat pet things in it like Doctors Foster and Smith.
5. Comforting Distress
To help her sleep (and try to keep her from wandering around in the middle of the night), I’ve been employing aromatherapy. Namely lavender in the form of essential oil droplets I place on her bedding and a lemon-verbena spray I put on her covers.
Also, if she’s not too agitated at tuck in, a good five to ten minute back rub or head massage helps her fall asleep fast.
Courtney Mroch writes about animals great and small in Pets and the harmony and strife that encompasses married life in Marriage. For a full listing of her articles click here.