How do you forgive after you have been hurt, humiliated, violated, mocked or abandoned? What does forgiveness mean to you?
The American Heritage Dictionary defines the word “forgive”:
1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.
2. To renounce anger or resentment against.
3. To absolve from payment of (a debt, for example).
When we do not forgive I believe we actually keep ourselves in bondage to that person who has offended us. To forgive does not mean to forget. It does not mean that we don’t use caution with that person or that we trust them. What I think forgiveness means is releasing yourself from the bondage of what the offender has done to you.
The Bible seems to put such an emphasis on forgiveness. If we hold bitterness toward another person, we are sinning and that sin seems to build a wall between us and God. In Matthew 6:14-15 Jesus says, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
When I think back to times I’ve held a grudge, I can see how it became sin. I’ve felt like I was punishing the offenders by choosing not to forgive. Really I seemed to be unnecessarily punishing myself as the others had moved on and I hadn’t! My unforgiving heart stirs up bitterness, and that bitterness seems to keep me from God’s will in my life.
So then, how many times should we forgive a person if they keep offending us? In Luke 17:3-4 Jesus says, “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”
No one said forgiving is easy. For me, it’s meant moving on in life and allowing God to be Lord of the situation. In addition, it has meant asking God to help me see the person through His eyes and know I too have hurt others and wish to be forgiven.
Psalms 103:12, “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Consider the outstretched arms of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as He hung on that cross for our sins. He forgives.
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All scripture references are quoted from the NKJV.