Can you be a best friend to your child as well as a parent? I not only believe it can be done. I know firsthand it can happen.
One or the other seemed to be the idea, when Kori raise this issue in a recent blog. But it can be both. For starters it depends on what you mean by ‘best friend’
To me ‘best friend’ is the person you enjoy spending time, the one you go and talk with, and talk things over with. For me throughout childhood and teenage years and even beyond that was my mother.
That doesn’t mean she was not still my mother and that discipline and boundaries went out the window. When I was in trouble or had crossed her, I was only too well aware of that fact. What it did mean was we were close. She was the one during teenage years I went and talked about boyfriends with.
Okay so I didn’t always tell her everything. But I didn’t tell my girlfriends everything either. My Mom often knew more of what was going on in my life and how felt than they did.
I never understood when girlfriends used to complain about their parents and have major hassles during teenage years. Because it was so different to the relationship I had with my Mom. That’s not to say we never had any arguments. We did. But they were few and far between and I hated it till we were back friends again.
No we certainly never went out wearing similar outfits or anything like that. I find that bizarre. I wouldn’t have done that with a girlfriend either.
It did mean I knew her taste and could buy things for Mom that I knew she would like –what suited her personality and age group. Because we understood each other, I knew her taste and she mine. We had to make a rule that neither us would buy something for ourselves near Christmas or birthdays, as so often we had the problem where one of us had bought something for a gift and the other one had gone out and bought it themselves.
The hardest thing for me growing up was that I wanted to go to church and Sunday School and live as a Christian. Mom never went to church. Sundays were days for family outings, so that did create tension.
Among her old 78s Mom had so any records like ‘I Believe, Deck of Cards, I’ll Walk with God,’ and too many others with religious themes to mention, but that was as far as it went. I found it hard not being able to share things of the Lord with her. And yes, I tried.
Maybe that was one of the reasons I moved away from the Lord in my teenage years. It was just too hard being at odds with Mom and best friend on that issue. Or maybe I would have drifted anyway.
Thankfully God didn’t let go of me but brought me back. I realized then I had to leave it be and let God work with Mom in His own time. And that wasn’t easy. Yes, she did come to the Lord before she died.
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