When your spouse is cheating on you, it can see as though you are going up and down and all around with his affair. At one moment he wants to leave and then he wants to stay. He doesn’t know whether he is coming or going and you don’t either.
This roller coaster type of situation can leave you exhausted and emotional numb. You don’t know whether you should be depressed, excited at the prospect that he’ll come back to you, or ready to just move on.
How to Deal with the Roller coaster
To cope with the roller coaster is to simply get off. That’s right; you will have to decide that you will not become a yo-yo in your spouse’s affair.
How do you get off? You look him square in the eye and say, “You either stop the affair and we work on saving this marriage or you decide to continue the affair and I will move on with my life.”
This is the ultimatum that will stop the roller coaster feeling that you’ve been going through for as long as he has been having the affair. You decide to end the ride and go in another direction.
I know this might seem scary to you because he may say that he is completely done with the marriage and wants to leave, but in actuality, he’s already left the marriage by having the affair. Whether he wants to change his mind, come back and do what he has to do to repair the damage that’s been done to the marriage is up to him now.
You can sit and wait for him to come home and he may never come back or you can cut the chase and have him make the decision right here and now. Either way, you will go through emotional turmoil but the second one will have you move on towards the direction of inner peace.
How to Deal with the Decision
Once the decision has been made, it’s time to work on whatever that decision is that you’ve made. If it’s to repair the marriage, it’s important to have some ground rules and seek marital and individual counseling.
If you’ve made the decision to leave, it’s time to put the wheels in motion for that and grieve the end of your marriage. It’s not easy but it’s possible to overcome this difficult time. You will have to take care of yourself, let yourself cry, over think and get all of the support you can from friends and family.