Our adoption journey began in the typical modern way – I typed “adoption” into the Yahoo search engine. It was overwhelming. There is so much information about adoption and it is really hard to get started. It helps if you know which of the main three categories of adoption you want to pursue. These categories are Domestic Infant Adoptions, Domestic State Adoptions and International Adoptions. Each one has its benefits and its drawbacks and ultimately each family has to decide which path to travel. The purpose of this post is to help you get started in international adoption if this is the route you choose.
To start out, I would recommend that you start reading. Read everything you can get your hands on. Read books on adoption in general and on international adoption specifically. As you read, make lists of questions that you have and then ask them of friends who have adopted or post them on adoption forums. We have a small adoption community here at Families.com, but you can also go to Adoption.com for lots of information.
As you read, also ask questions. If possible, try to find people who have adopted before and specifically people who have adopted the type of child you are interested in. In my experience, people who have adopted LOVE to talk about adoption! It is such a big part of our lives and we love to share our experiences. Tell them that you are interested in adopting and that you want to learn more. You’ll probably have trouble getting the adoptive parents to stop talking!
In addition to talking to other adoptive parents, talk to your spouse. Discuss everything about the idea of adopting and about international adoption specifically. Bring up all of your concerns and think about every angle of this decision. Make sure you talk about the uncomfortable topics too, even if they don’t seem appropriate. Conversations on issues like race, age and special needs are very important to have, even if you feel awkward. Make sure both you and your partner are comfortable with the path that you choose. If you are single, then find a trusted friend to engage in the same conversations.
International adoption is definitely a challenge and it can be overwhelming to start. Take things slowly and give yourself the time to make educated decisions. If this type of adoption is for you, it will be one of the greatest and most rewarding adventures of your life. It certainly has been for me.
Note: RachelW is the Families.com Blogger on Employment but is currently going through the process of an international adoption. You can read her regular blogs at: http://employment.families.com/blogs/