There was a window of time when my kids were younger that I did a pretty decent job of keeping up on the “allowance”–we did not do a set amount each week, but I paid my kids by the month for chores done. We had a “menu” of jobs that needed to be done and the salary that was paid for each job. They could then do the work, keep track of it on an invoice, and I would pay them on my pay days. This worked rather well for a couple years. As they got older, and with two houses–they were able to get “free money” from their father more and had less motivation to work for money at my house and I wasn’t going to just give money for no reason. So, instead, my kids either negotiate and work for money they need for a specific reason (or they are more likely to get their own money from work outside the home now), or I like to give out “surprise” money for going above and beyond, being particularly helpful, or a healthy stretch of good behavior.
I don’t know if my kids have figured out my “system” yet since it is more like a non-system than anything too predictable. If I have extra money and I think my kids are deserving, I am perfectly willing to share it. It is always tied to a good deed, work, good behavior but it isn’t something they can expect any time they pick up a dirty dish or run the vacuum. I guess it is just a way for me to provide an encouraging bonus, and reinforce my philosophy that if we live our lives decently and make an effort to do the right thing, we will occasionally be rewarded.
The other day, my son offered to help with the grocery shopping–including carting the bags and putting things away. This might have seemed pretty ordinary a couple years ago, but for an almost-sixteen-year-old boy, being seen at the neighborhood grocery store with your mommy can be a fate worse than death. He hasn’t been into being seen in public with me much at all lately and that is to be expected. So, in addition to taking him for a hamburger, I slipped him a little money as a reward. At least he acted surprised and said “thank you” which I much prefer to an attitude of entitlement. I like my “surprise money” system–I like to think it keeps my kids a little on their toes and thinking about being decent and helpful, and I definitely feel better about sharing money when it isn’t being expected or demanded.
Also: Counting Money and Making Change
Attitudes of Entitlement Are a Trigger For Me