It is the prerogative of grandparents to spoil their grandchild because they do have to live with the consequences of spoiling them. Remember, your parents raised you or your spouse and they went through all the fussy times of coping with raising you. When a parent becomes a grandparent – they get to revel in the joy of all the fun without any of the hard times or the work. But there’s a balance that must be struck between parents and grandparents where babies are concerned – particularly if the spoiling they indulge your little one in is undermining your ability to be a parent.
Grandparents Who Live Far Away
When your baby’s grandparents live very far away and only see the baby infrequently, it’s important to let them spoil them as much as they want while they are there. Your baby may experience a slight disruption in their schedule, but time with our grandparents is vital and precious. Grandparents who want to indulge their grandchildren with gifts should be encouraged and acceptable. The only restraint you should place here is on toys that violate your personal beliefs as a parent – for example, we do not allow our daughter to have any toys that resemble weapons – i.e. no toy guns, swords or anything of the like. This rule began in her infancy and remains firmly in place to this day.
Grandparents Who Live Around the Corner
When the grandparents live nearby and see their grandchild regularly, they need to remember the phrase of: when in Rome … do as the Romans do. In this case, they need to follow your baby’s schedule and obey the rules of it. It’s important to recognize that when they are indulging their grandchild, they can make your life miserable because your child will likely want to stay over at their Nana’s and Granddad’s far more often and take full advantage of this indulgence.
Having had the best of both of these worlds, I can attest to the pros and cons of both situations. Grandparents have paid their dues and they have earned the right to be more indulgent than you are as a parent. They are allowed to spoil their grandchildren whether it is with time, activities or gifts. But at the same time, it’s important that they respect you as the parent and try not to make your life too hard when they can go home and leave you to deal with the fall out.
How do you balance the grandparent’s indulgence with your needs as a parent?
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