My walking partner and I had a long talk about this. I had always assumed that group dating was several couples going out together, basically keeping each other out of trouble. Group outings were just a bunch kids going out and having fun. So as we talked, we came to realize that we understood different things. So I went out and looked on the church’s website to see what the brethren had to say (So did she, by the way. We’re two peas in a pod sometimes!).
President Spencer W. Kimball (Prophet, Seer & Revelator: 1973 to 1985)
“My beloved young people, you should be serious-minded. Life is not wholly for fun and frolic. It is a most serious business. You will do well to grow up as children, associating with both girls and boys for those first years. When you get in the teenage years, your social associations should still be general acquaintance with both boys and girls. Any dating or pairing off in social contacts should be postponed until at least the age of 16 or older, and even then there should be much judgment used in selections and in the seriousness.
“Young people should still limit the close contacts for several years, since the boy will be going on his mission when he is 19 years old. There should be limited contacts and certainly no approach to the intimate relationships involving sex. There must never be any sex of any kind prior to marriage.” “Marriage—The Proper Way,” New Era, Feb. 1976, p. 5
So, in essence – prior to the time young men go on missions there should be no serious dating so that they are able to fully and completely devote themselves to the work of the Lord. Group dating is allowed, as are group outings. But no serious pairing off until after missions are completed. (For those of you who are not LDS, young men serve missions from ages 19 to 21, young women (if they have not married) ages 21 to 22 1/2).)
You and I both know that hormones run crazy in teenagers – so how do we convince them of the above. Remind them of who they are, as children of God. Help them to truly internalize it rather than just repeat or understand it by rote. Constantly remember to balance the spiritual side of life with the fun side of life. Teach them to pray, to listen, to understand and help them to believe what internally they know to be true.
It is important to help them to understand there is a season for everything. As teenagers, it is their season to develop testimonies and understandings of the gospel at a much deeper level. It is their season to laugh, enjoy and understand what they want out of life. It is a time of family, seminary, church, school, dances, barbeques, football/basketball/baseball/soccer games, picnics, and sometimes work. You can only do this by example, meaning you must do this in your homes from day one. Prayer, family home evening, scripture study, gospel discussions – pray, pray, pray. Only in this way do you have a hope of helping your children to understand their divine roles and to not throw it all away on a moment of unrestrained passion.