Does it really matter that so many boys are being raised in single parent mother headed households? Many people believe that boys really need men to help guide them and teach them-even if it is just by watching responsible, trustworthy men. Interestingly, I have found that my boys will react more quickly when giving directions or making a request if I change my voice to a lower tone, which makes it sound less female and a little more like a guy’s voice.
I recently read two articles boys and their lack of relationships with men. Interestingly both articles made similar points:
1. There seems to be a dearth of mature, responsible men to mentor boys
2. Men can teach boys in ways that women don’t
Of course that second statement goes both ways, women teach boys in ways that men typically don’t. Sure there is a lot of crossover such as women can teach boys how to fish. Men can teach boys how to make a mean omelet and so on.
Many social service and faith based agencies are coming to realize the importance of having good positive male role models for young men even if the divorce rate remains steady or climbs in the future. One program in Mississippi is helping fathers to take a more active role in their children’s lives-even after the dissolution of the relationship with the significant other. The program directors realize that if you can engage a father in being an active parent, you can positively change at least two generations of people. “In order for men to be effective fathers, they must connect on an emotional level with their children while at the same time being disciplinarians. They said children want guidance and discipline, but they aren’t going to ask for it. And if no one steps up to establish that authority, then they’ll follow their own impulses which regularly lead to trouble.”
Helping boys grow into responsible men takes commitment and courage.