So your baby was born recently and you are just getting the hang of getting up in the middle of night feedings and changing the diaper while doing three other things at once. You are sleep deprived. When you get a chance to shower it seems like a reason for a national holiday and here you are, looking at the holidays and wondering how do you manage with the baby and the lack of sleep and the fact that you are either going to be traveling or having to endure family and friends descending upon you and your family for the holidays.
Stop, Take a Breath
Take it from me, Moms, my baby was born only a few days after Thanksgiving and just three short weeks before Christmas. We had family flying in to stay with us and we had a half-dozen friends invited over for Christmas Eve activities. Christmas is hands down one of my favorite holidays of the entire year. I love the spirit of it. I love the generosity of it. I love exploring the meanings of it Christian and otherwise.
I dreaded Christmas. I didn’t want anything to do with all these people because I was exhausted. I was learning to cope with a newborn and I still needed to make sure the presents were wrapped, the food was bought and prepared and we were ready to entertain so many people.
What Kind of Mom Am I?
That question is going to flutter through your mind at any number of times during these weeks after the new baby arrives. You’re going to be frustrated. You’re going to be tired. You’re going to wonder when do you get all the joy out of this situation. You may even wonder if they baby will ever stop crying long enough to coo or giggle at you.
The answer to all of those questions is yes. You are a fine mother, you are just tired. If your baby was just born and it’s the holidays – ask for help – insist on it. Your mother or mother-in-law will be happy to pitch in and so will your spouse. Instead of doing it all, put yourself in the supervisory position. Make a list of all the things that you usually handle and divvy up the responsibilities.
Your enjoyment of the holidays is just as important as maintaining the traditions. When my daughter was born, we opened all of our presents on Christmas eve – there were no kids so, we did all of the present exchange and Christmas dinner on Christmas eve. About halfway through the evening, somewhere around 9:30, I excused myself from the present opening to go upstairs and feed the baby and then get her settled again.
I fell asleep with her on the bed and my husband came up to wake me up and said that everyone was downstairs waiting for me to come finish opening the presents – specifically the presents for me. I wanted to stay in bed with the small one and stay asleep – but I let him take the sleepy one and put her into her crib and downstairs I went – I couldn’t dredge up the enthusiasm to really appreciate the presents at that point.
Knowing what I know now – I’d have thanked them all but insisted we break it up early and do the presents on the following day. Sleep and time with the little one is too precious and the holidays are a time when you want to feel the love – not the resentment at having sleep interrupted.
Hang in there moms and dads – you can still enjoy the holidays and your baby, you just have to be prepared to compromise and to plan ahead. Your family and your friends love you and they love the new addition – they’ll be ready to support you if you let them and tell them what you need.
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