In the marriage service it says love, honor and obey or love honor and cherish depending on which version you choose to have. What exactly does it mean to honor your spouse?
Let’s start by what it doesn’t mean and what it does. You can honor them or dishonor them by the way you talk to your spouse and the way you talk about them. When you whine and whine to others about your spouse and their faults is that honoring your spouse? Not in my books it isn’t.
Instead, it means honoring them with your actions and your words. A good question to ask is would you speak the same about them if they were standing right next to you?
Of course, some people don’t seem to take much notice of that word honor in the marriage service. If you put your spouse down in public or yell at them or argue or swear at them in public is that honoring to your spouse? No it is not. It’s virtually telling them they are worthless in your eyes – that you don’t value them at all- that you don’t care about their feelings.
But these are things I have heard plenty of married people do and it’s not just the men guilty of doing the yelling and swearing wither.
Honoring your spouse means building them up and making others think well of them. It means praising them and accepting them for who they are and not trying to change them into someone else.
It means honoring them with your actions and your words. It means honoring them with your body and being faithful to them. Not just in your actions but in your thoughts and imagination as well. It means not eyeing off every attractive person of the opposite sex or making a play for them. But being content with and aiming to please the one you have.
Maybe if we all took the honor part of the marriage service more seriously marriages would be in better shape, would you agree?