I read an article in this weeks PEOPLE magazine that really made me smile. It’s a shining example of how peer tutoring, or mentoring, is a fabulous concept that should be promoted in every school in the nation. The article, written by Richard Jerome and Lori Rozsa (May 29, 2006), highlights a special relationship between two students: Vincent Benito, who is 15 and has autism, and his peer mentor, Katie Davis, 13. The two attend Thomas E. Weightman Middle School in Wesley Chapel, Florida.
Before Katie made the decision to be a peer mentor, she thought it would be an easy “A.” All she’d have to do, she thought, was follow some handicapped kid around. Simple. She never realized that a genuine friendship would form. Prior to taking on her mentoring duties, she was one of the kids who would occasionally laugh at Vincent, making fun of his stereotypical autistic behaviors like arm-flapping, and calling him “retarded.”
But Katie was assigned to be his mentor, as part of a program where 20 eighth graders were paired up with disabled children at the school. At first, Vincent wouldn’t look at her or speak to her. Katie wondered how in the world this would work. “They told me friendships form, but I’m like, ‘How can we ever be friends?’”
Eight months later, the two fell into a comfortable routine of attending classes, with Katie coaching Vincent and keeping him on task. “Vincent, do your math,” she instructs him gently. She also enters Vincent’s world by engaging him in conversations about the things he loves and perseverates about, namely Mickey Mouse. She asks him, “Who is this, Vincent?” when he finds a Disney website on the internet. “Mickey Mouse!” he replies. By entering Vincent’s world, she simultaneously has brought him out several steps farther into hers.
“He feels a connection with Katie,” says Vincent’s mother. He can tease her a little, and he loves that back and forth.”
One afternoon, Katie invited Vincent to sit with her at lunch. Slowly, the other students began treating him with more acceptance and understanding. “Because he has autism,” says Katie, “many of us think he isn’t normal. But the truth is, he is more normal and even smarter than some of the people I know. After a while with him, I start to forget that he has a disability at all.”
Peer mentoring programs are wonderful because they provide a learning opportunity for both the disabled student and the mentor. The disabled student has a “model” to follow who can demonstrate appropriate behaviors and set an example. And the mentor learns compassion, understanding, gratitude, and unconditional love. Honestly, could there be a more mutually beneficial arrangement?
As a parent of several special needs children, I am a huge advocate for peer mentoring/peer tutoring programs. The inspiring story of Katie and Vincent is just one example of many. For more information about peer tutoring, see my blogs, “Encourage Your Teen (or Pre-Teen) To Be a Peer Tutor!” and “Ten Tips for Teen Peer Tutors.”
