We call it “Transfer Day” in our household–the day of the week that the kids move from one parent’s house to the other. After several years of being a two-household family, it’s definitely gotten much smoother. In fact, in the first couple years after the divorce, when the kids were much younger–I dreaded the chaos and messy-ness of transfer day. But, over time, we’ve gotten it down and things run much more smoothly.
Like many divorced/single-parent families, our custody arrangements have not stayed the same over the years. Our reality has been through many morphs and changes due mostly to my ex-husband’s job and personal schedule–the kids and I have adjusted and changed over the years so that they could continue to spend as much time as possible and reasonable at their dad’s house, and to make the transfer as painless and smooth as we could.
But–it has not been easy! As a planner and someone who likes a bit of organization, it often felt like just when I got everything down and running smoothly, the schedule would change and we’d all have to get used to a new one. Now that my kids are older teenagers, they pretty much get themselves from one house to the other and manage their own clothes, books, and personal items pretty well. They even usually get things packed the night before now–but that hasn’t always been the case. And, now that they are older and more mobile, things are a little loser–they can pop by to visit or pick up something they left behind and we are less regimented in making sure everyone is either at one house or the other. My ex and I use “transfer day” as the one day a week where we share information (unless something major comes up in between)–how each individual child is doing, the major highlights and issues of the week, and make changes to the calendars and such.
I know it sounds as though we’ve got things under control, but in all honesty, it took us virtually YEARS to get to where our transfer day runs relatively smoothly and sanely. How about you? How smooth is your transfer day?
See Also: Do’s and Don’ts of Single Parenting and Dealing With Divorce in the Extended Family