After couples have been married over two years, they typically settle into what will come to be their routine. Whether it is endless shuffling kids off to daycare or long hours of work, I get many couples in my office who have quit communicating, and often complain that the spice has gone out of their marriage.
It doesn’t have to be this way, with a little communication and some well timed planning, couples can rekindle the spice that was there when they first wed.
The first thing I usually recommend is that the couple set aside an entire weekend just for themselves. Get a babysitter and go away for the weekend, or ask a relative to take them while the two of you stay home. Either way, don’t do anything that is about your regular schedule. No answering the phone, no quick runs to the office to finish an important speech or meeting, this is all about the two of you.
Now you can do anything you want. Take a bubble bath together, or get one of the new couple’s board games from your local adult store. These games include ideas to rekindle the spark, or at the very least open up pathways for communication so that you can talk about what’s wrong. Often there isn’t anything wrong at all, the two of you just need to spend the kind of quality time that you would have put aside anything for to spend time together before you got married.
Romantic gestures can rekindle the spark as well. When was the last time you bought your spouse flowers for no reason? Women can buy flowers for their husbands; too, there are no set rules as to who and when to give flowers. Or bring them home something special as a little surprise. You don’t have to wait for a birthday or anniversary to give your special someone a trinket that shows them that you are thinking about them during the day.
Dressing up and role playing can put the spice back in your marriage, this is a very personal and private time for the both of you, and shouldn’t be discussed with even your best friends. Your marriage is a private and sacred thing, and what the two of you like to do behind closed doors is no one else’s business.
You can read all about how to put the spice back into your love life with tons of books available through the internet, but the best way to learn what your spouse likes is to talk to them. A conversation at a romantic restaurant can lead to a much more interesting evening than sitting around reading self help books out loud to each other, and listening to what your spouse wants can really be an eye opener, typically even when married we don’t divulge what we’d really like to have happen in the bedroom. So talk, play, and explore your marriage.