Yesterday I had a meeting with my neurologist. I really like this guy because he’s the first consultant I’ve seen in over 3 years of unexplained/undiagnosed illness who really seems as if he cares about me, the person. Not long before Christmas he did an EEG and as a result of that diagnosed me as epileptic. I’m not sure the diagnosis is correct but I bow to his better judgment and am trying the treatment plan to see if it helps. This aside, he’s obviously concerned about my weight. The last time we met we talked about the fact that I needed to lose weight and I told him that I was willing and ready to do so but just didn’t have the energy. Anyone who has ever lost a substantial amount of weight knows that it takes physical and mental energy to shed those pounds. Exercise is only part of it. There’s the actual food shopping and preparation to be done. There’s the learning about a particular program of weight loss and the rules that you need to stick too. Then there’s the anxiety of it not working, and the fighting against temptation on the days you’re at a low ebb. Losing weight is no walk in the park!
To my amazement, this neurological consultant actually agreed with me, and said that he understood that I was going to have problems and limitations mainly due to chronic fatigue issues, but that I should try and do the best I could. I responded at that time that I was seriously motivated by the hospital, and not in a positive sense, but rather that there seemed to be general consensus by my various consultants that all my issues would disappear if I weren’t overweight – which in turn implies that there oughtn’t be one slim person in the hospital who wasn’t a visitor, and we all know that’s not the case – so I had to lose weight in order for them to see me as a person and try to find out what was wrong with me rather than just seeing the fat. My neurologist was appalled that this was my experience, and said that we’d work on it all together and try to find the answers.
Yesterday he had to double my meds, plus add a sleeping pill to my nightly cocktail of chemicals, but you should have seen his face when I told him how much weight I’d lost since my last visit. He was genuinely happy! “For that dear, you get a big hug!” he said, and that’s exactly what I got! I really love this guy – not for the hugs, but for sincere support he gives, and the fact that he’s the first consultant in the hospital who actually seems to see me as a person, and that’s a huge thing when you’re my size.
I also blog on the Disney blog – come and see if your mouse ears still fit!