I Forget We Don’t Look Alike Adoption Families.com

I Forget We Don’t Look Alike

“Are you his mother?” I was really surprised when the nurse asked me that question. We were at the doctor for another of Jayden’s ear infections and had just walked into the room. Jayden was cuddled close to me and holding on tight because he is terrified of all things related to doctors. My first thought was, “Of course I’m his mother!”. Then I remembered that we don’t look a thing alike and so I kindly answered “Yes, I’m the mother. He was adopted from Guatemala.” The nurse smiled and we went on with the appointment.

I remember reading an article a few months back about transracial adoption and it said that you will often forget that you don’t look like your child. I wondered how that could possibly be true. It didn’t bother me that my children don’t look like me, but why would I forget about it?

Now that Jayden is home, I understand. He is my child in every sense of the word. I know everything about him from the birthmark on his neck to the way that his pinky toes turn in. We spend our days together and he is my constant companion. He is my son in every way and we are no different from any other mother and child.

Actually, I have begun to think it is strange when children do look like their parents. It seems strange to me. In my mind, families aren’t supposed to match. Ours family is beginning to represent all shades of the light tan to dark brown spectrum. To me, that’s just how it is supposed to be.

So, am I his mother? Absolutely! Do we look alike? Not a bit! But, that is okay. There is so much more that ties a family together than whether their eyes are shaped the same way or their skin is a similar shade. Family is loving and holding and sharing – in the good times and bad. In the words of a popular “Barney” song (you’ll have to forgive me – there’s a toddler in my house now!), “A family is people and a family is love. That’s a family. They come in all different sizes and different kids, but mine’s just right for me!”.