In Part 1, I mentioned the age of your child, handling paperwork woes and being patient through delays in international adoption. In this post, I wanted to bring up the issues of culture and race:
Can You Parent a Child of a Different Race?
Would it bother you if your child has features that are different than yours? How do you feel about a child whose skin is darker than yours? How do you feel about the fact that when strangers see you with your child they will assume your spouse is Asian (or Hispanic or African)? Take time to consider these issues. It isn’t “politically correct” for it to bother you to parent a child of a different race, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t think about it and take the time to discuss it with your spouse and family. If you cannot become comfortable with raising a child of a different race, then it is important that you honor that. It would be better to realize this about yourself now than to complete the adoption and not feel comfortable parenting your child.
Can You Parent a Child From Another Culture?
Even if you decide to adopt a child whose skin color and features are similar to yours, you need to realize that with international adoption, you are adopting a child from another culture. Your child comes to you with a different cultural history than yours. It is important that you honor that culture and that you take the time to help your child become familiar with their roots. Are you willing to celebrate Russian holidays? Are you comfortable with taking your daughter back to the Ukraine to visit when she asks about her roots? Are you comfortable with becoming an inter-cultural family?
Can You Incorporate a Different Race/Culture Into Your Daily Life?
Once you adopt a child internationally, you become a transracial and/or transcultural family. You bring another way of life into your immediate family, your extended family and your community. There are challenges associated with this and there are joys. It is important that you prepare yourself for both and determine how you will manage each. As you go through the process of the adoption, you will need to educate yourself on your child’s race and culture. It is also best if you can develop a support network of people who are from you child’s culture and race. Before you pursue an international adoption, you should make sure that you are willing to do these things to provide your child with a sense of his/her history and culture.
As I said before, International adoption is exciting and rewarding. It is also one of the most challenging things you will ever do. Are you a good fit for international adoption? Ultimately you are the only one who can answer that question. I hope that these points have helped you discover the questions you need to ask yourself. Good luck and happy adopting!
RachelW is the Families.com Blogger on Employment but is currently going through the process of an international adoption. You can read her regular blogs at: http://employment.families.com/blogs/