One of the great and yet one of the scary things about being a parent is teaching your children about procreation, or the facts of life, or the birds and the bees – whatever you choose to call it. As LDS parents, we have the added advantage of teaching it from a religious perspective and can call on the scriptures and also modern day revelation to help us impress upon our children the deeply spiritual nature of such an act and how sharing it with your spouse can bring you closer together. We can help them to understand also the consequences of premarital sex and the heartache it can cause.
This conversation is weighty, and that’s a fact. I’ve heard some parents say they’d rather do just about anything than teach this to their children. It’s embarrassing, certainly, but it goes deeper than that – there’s a responsibility to be had, too. You want to impart the information without making the child overly curious to try it, and yet you don’t want to scare them, and you want them to know it’s special and that it’s not bad, but you really don’t want them to do it until they’re married. It’s a fine line you walk, a delicate balance, and it’s nerve-wracking. I can see wanting to run away from it.
But you can’t. This is some of the most crucial teaching you’ll ever give your child. They must have proper knowledge so they can make the wisest decisions. But when? When do you do it?
This answer is going to be as varied as your children. I know some children who are very mature and their parents felt they should know at an earlier age. Richard and Linda Eyre, popular LDS speakers and authors, tell their children when they are eight years old. Some children hear a fractured version on the playground and must be set straight by their parents at the age of five, six, or seven.
In my case, I was ten, and my mom shocked me. I wasn’t ready for “the talk” and it had never even occurred to me to ask.
I encourage you to be attuned to your children and their own levels of maturity. You will know when they are ready – they’ll start to ask questions and show curiosity. However, I strongly suggest that you simply answer the question they ask, at least to start. If they only want one small piece of information and you end up giving them the whole ball of wax, you can shock them like my mother did me. (Are you feeling sorry for me?) If they continue to ask and to wonder, then they are ready for more information.
Your greatest key in teaching this important principle will be listening to the Holy Ghost. As you pay attention to your children’s questions and as you listen to the promptings you will receive, you will know what to say and when to say it. Our Heavenly Father is deeply interested in how we raise our children – after all, He’s their father too – and He will give us all the help we need.
Related Blogs:
“What’s Happening to My Body?” book for boys
Sex Education Curriculums Need a Makeover
Research Supports Abstinence Programs