Are there weeds in your marriage? Weeds that you really know you should do something about but which are, or have been, allowed to grow and spread? They can look attractive at first, but later turn out to be destructive.
In our garden we have what I consider a pretty vine that gets amazing blue flowers. Mick’s attitude to it is very different and with good reason. When I look at the vine all I see it’s the vibrant blue of the flower. The problem is let go the vine takes over and tends to run riot, choking everything else.
That is something we can do with the weeds in our marriage. Instead of dealing with them when they first raise their heads, we let them grow until they run riot and turn destructive. What things might constitute weeds in marriage?
For example your spouse might have a trait you once found endearing of being generous with their time helping others. But if he or she is never home because they are always helping others rather than spending time with their family then it is something that needs to be talked though and worked out. It’s rather like the house painter who is so busy painting everyone else’s house that they never get around to painting their own or the builder who is always taking on other jobs and never gets around to finishing the renovation of their own home and leaves it in a mess. Or the wife who is out helping her friends and neighbors, so she is never there when her husband gets home and is neglecting her own husband.
So don’t wait till the weeds spring up in your marriage and become a problem. Talk it over and root out the source the problem rather than letting it go until it has choked the life out of your marriage.
Talk it over calmly and rationally. Make sure your words are encouraging rather than accusatory. Maybe start by saying how you admire that particular quality in them but explain why it needs to be not taken to excess, why is becoming a problem. Tell your spouse how you feel about the situation and how important it is for your marriage to deal with these problems together.
Listen if your spouse has suggestions of areas he or she feels you need to deal with. Perhaps suggest ways you can spend more time together. Whatever you do, weed out the problem areas before they take hold.
Yes, this was another idea that came from Mick as we were washing and wiping up and talking about marriage and this blog. No wonder I think he’s a gem!
Join me tomorrow as I list more weeds in marriage that we might need to deal with.