One thing that I have noticed since Lily has had her tube out is that many more adults, specifically parents of young children, will now approach us when we are out in public and comment on how cute she is. Now, by no means do I think that the presence of her tube made her un-cute in the eyes of strangers. However, I do think that, for whatever reason, these same people who now offer such wonderful compliments did not feel comfortable approaching us back then.
Perhaps they thought that we were just so overwhelmed and stressed out caring for a special needs child that we would welcome or have time for a conversation with strangers. Or, maybe they thought that we would not appreciate them noticing that our child was special needs. Then there is also the possibility that they did not want their comments to seem superficial (although we would not have viewed them as such).
Whatever the case may be, as much as I welcome their comments now, I know that I would have welcomed them even more back them. Please know that I do not say this because my wife and I need affirmation from strangers that our daughter is cute. It’s just that sometimes caring for a special needs child can be an isolated experience. Not only can your child not participate in all of the same activities that a perfectly healthy child is capable of, but, by extension, the parents’ activities are also limited. When your daughter has a feeding tube, you can’t drop them off at daycare or at the sitter’s while you go out for dinner and a movie. And on the days that you do venture out to the park or the mall, that may be your only chance to interact with another adult.
I guess what I am saying is… parents of special needs children like to brag about their babies just as much as everyone else. So don’t be afraid to approach one the next time you see them out.
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