It’s Inconceivable! Friday Pregnancy Funnies

If any group of women can use a good joke, it’s a pregnant woman. The following are funny to me, if they are not funny to you, I apologize in advance. I remember wanting to be a comedian when I was growing up, because the gift of laughter is not to be sneezed at – unfortunately – either I wasn’t that funny or my audience never had a sense of humor. I tend to lean on the former and fall flat in front of the latter!

So here’s a little humor to inject into your day!

Inconceivable?
An American man is riding a train in a European country. His seatmate knows some English, and they end up chatting. The seatmate asks if the American has children. The American says no.

“Ah, so sad.” The European said.. “Your wife, she is impregnable?”

“Well, um, that’s not exactly the word.” The American said.

“Oh!” The European interrupted. “I mean, she is inconceivable?”

“Um, not quite –” the American began, only to be interrupted again.

“Oh, no, that isn’t right. She is, what is it, she is unbearable?” The European asked.

“Well, actually, that’s pretty much sums it up.”

The Name Game

When a pregnant woman ended up in a coma as a result of a car accident, she didn’t wake for nearly six months. Her first frantic moments of wakefulness were filled with confusion because she wanted to know if her baby was all right. The doctor reassured her immediately.

“Ma’am you had twins! A boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them.”

The woman is horrified because her brother is an idiot. “Well, what’s the girl’s name?”

“Denise.”

“Wow, that’s not a bad name, I like it! What’s the boy’s name?”

“Denephew.”

Strange Questions

When Jaime was pregnant with her first child, she went to her obstetrician’s office for a routine exam. When the exam was over and the doctor asked if she had any questions, she hesitated before starting to ask: “My husband wanted me to ask you if it was still okay ….”

“Of course it is,” the doctor interrupted. “I get asked that question all the time. Sexual relations are fine until late in the pregnancy.”

“Oh, no – that’s fine.” Jaime confessed sheepishly. “He just wanted to know if it was all right for me to still mow the lawn.”

This entry was posted in The First 9 Months and tagged , , , , by Heather Long. Bookmark the permalink.

About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.

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