People always say, “It’s the little things that count.” Little things can make a big difference in a marriage. They can be what keep a couple together, or they can be what drive a couple apart.
The tender little gestures, kind words, a note, a hug, can show your spouse how much you care. On the other hand, little annoyances can sometimes lead to big problems. This usually happens because one spouse doesn’t want to offend the other by mentioning something petty, but if your husband or wife does something that drives you nuts, it’s important to discuss it. Try to be gentle, and sandwich the complaint between compliments, but let the other person know.
On the same token, be open to hearing about the little things that you do that make your spouse crazy. He or she may not tell you directly at first, but if you really pay attention you’ll probably start to notice that certain things bug your beloved. Try to avoid doing those things, or at least try to do them when your spouse is not present.
I once heard about a couple that contemplated separation because the wife insisted on clipping her toenails all over the house instead of in the bathroom. The husband had a thing about feet and toenail clippings all over the place grossed him out (which is understandable, but shouldn’t cause the break up of a marriage). It got to the point where he believed his wife did not respect him because she refused to oblige such a simple request. They fought about many other things, but it came down to respect.
Little things that cause irritation are often exaggerated because of underlying problems, but it makes sense to work through the little things so that the two of you will be able to deal with bigger problems when they arise.