I have written previously about what a challenge it can be when our children bring home friends that we are not to crazy for. The truth is, however, that ALL of our children’s friends, peers and acquaintances have lessons to teach them. When you think back over your own life, it may just be the most challenging people that taught you the most poignant lessons. Our children will gain experience and learn valuable life lessons from all of their friends—even the ones who are temporary or turn out to NOT be the greatest of friends after all.
We may know intellectually that we do not get to choose our child’s friends but when we are faced with some of the unsavory sorts a child brings home, we may forget and do our very best to pick and choose who we think is appropriate. There are larger forces at work, however, and there are important life lessons that our children can learn from everyone. Our child DOES need to learn how to choose a friend and how to manage their own social life and they will not learn these lessons from a book or by us trying to tell them what to do. They have to experience it for themselves and learn through those experiences.
Trust, honor, loyalty, respect—all of these are realities we explore through our friendships. Sometimes we experience the positive sides of these realities but other times, we have to be on the “shadow” side in order to truly learn important things. As parents, we may not realize what purpose a specific person has in our child’s life, but it is safe to say that there will be lessons to learn from each and every one of their friends—whether we would have chosen the “learning partner” for our child or not.