Those of us who are married can learn a lot from dogs. Dog owners know how faithful loyal and loving these four footed friends can be. Their love and loyalty does not depend on what we do for them. They will love us regardless and not hesitate to show it. In the words of John Grogan from Marley and Me ‘A dog doesn’t care ifyou’re rich or poor, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he’ll give you his. How many people can you say that about/? How many people make you feel special, extraordinary?’ Yet shouldn’t that be what our marriage partner feels not only from a dog but from us? Shouldn’t our marriage partner make us feel that way?
So often our perception of ourselves is colored and influenced by what other people think of us. Certainly this is true of those we love. When that love is unreturned or goes unnoticed we can feel we are worthless and not worth loving. That’s why love is such an important aspect of life and our development. A child who has the basic of food, shelter etc but no love will grow up very differently to one who is secure in the love of parents or caregivers.
How different when we know we are loved and valued. It often has the opposite effect of making us a better person that we thought we could be.
If you love you spouse surely you will want to show it by the things that you do, be encouraging and affirming them and helping them to believe in themselves more. Surely you will show it in the things you do for them as well as in what you say to them and to others about them. Why not find one thing each day this week that you love or value about your spouse and make sure you let find a way to let them know it.
You will love them enough to overlook their faults and find and compliment them on their good points and the things they do right or that please you. You will want to spend time with them because they are the most important person in your life and you enjoy being with them. You enjoying not just making love, but talking with them and simply being in their presence. What’s more you let them know that you enjoy this time with them and how much it means to you.
Love can be a simple equation n that the more we do for the one we love and seek to please them, the more likely they are to want to respond in kind.