There is a difference between teasing, picking on someone, making fun of them, and just learning to not take things so seriously. We can help our kids develop a sense of humor and learn how to laugh at themselves–not by teasing and poking fun at them, but by modeling our own ability to laugh at ourselves and helping them to appreciate the silliness and humor in every day life.
I do not think that people are born with a sense of humor. How’s that for a dramatic statement? I think it is something that is learned and shaped over the years and is a coping mechanism that helps us get through the tough times in life and appreciate the pleasant ones. I think we can help our children learn to laugh at themselves, but it takes developing our own ability and creating an atmosphere where humor and laughter are a “family value.”
Life can be extremely silly and funny if we are only to open our eyes to it. This doesn’t mean laughing AT other people or trying to have fun at other people’s expense. Poking fun or needling someone can have just the opposite effect–making them feel protective and not able to laugh at themselves. Instead, show your children how you can laugh at your own misdeeds and personality quirks, point out the humorous things that happen in every day life and try to find the funny little morsel in an otherwise stressful or strange happening. Laugh at things that have happened to the family as a whole or tell stories of family adventures that have turned humorous. Over time, your child will develop a keen sense of humor and understand the difference between healthy laughter and mean-spirited laughter. And, chances are, your own sense of humor will become more developed too!
Also: Showing Our Kids Our Vulnerable Side
Tolerating Different Opinions and Values Within a Family