It’s been over a year since my divorce, but I’m still not completely healed from it yet. I go through phases; things will be going really well and then something will happen that causes all of those emotions to come flooding back again. The more I dwell on it the more miserable I become and I find myself incapable of moving forward and finding happiness in the things I have today. My older brother recently likened this to a scab. “There’s no reason to keep opening old wounds. You don’t pick a scab, do you? Why would you pick something far bigger than a scab? Just let it heal.”
The wounds left from my divorce were far deeper than any I had ever experienced in this lifetime. My heart ached for what “should” have been. I felt a pain so intense it could not be described in words. I wanted my family to be together. I felt hurt. I felt betrayed. I felt rejected. I felt helpless. As time went on, the pain seemed to subside a little more with each passing day. The wounds were beginning to heal and it no longer consumed my thoughts the way it once had. I found happiness in the little things again and I was moving forward, one step at a time.
There are still days when I find myself feeling sad about how things happened. Those old feelings come creeping in and start pulling me down again. It is on these days that I remember the wise words of my brother. “Just let it heal.” It isn’t easy. There is injustice at every turn, but if we let this become our focus we will never find the joy that we are so earnestly seeking. There is no reason to open old wounds. It’s time to let it heal.