Living together before marriage is very common in today’s society. It almost seems to be the expected thing these days. I’ve heard people say its better to try it first and see whether you’re suited. But living together is not as good a test as some people might like to think. In fact statistics show those who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who don’t.
I’ve had friends who have lived together before marriage and translated that to a successful marriage. I also know those who have lived together and then, as soon as marriage is introduced to the equation, the whole relationship falls apart. So what makes the difference? I’d suggest it comes back to attitude and how committed people are to the relationship and how binding they view marriage.
Recently in the response to a blog about young marriages, one families.com member said she has been together with her guy for a while and they are living together but she doesn’t see them as ready to take the next step of marriage any time soon, despite expectations of others. While it’s good that people think seriously about marriage before they enter into it and make sure they’re ready for that commitment, I was interested to see she considered living together in a whole different, less permanent, light than being married.
It seems living together doesn’t require the same sort of thought and commitment as getting married does. If it doesn’t work then you simply walk out of it. Perhaps this explains in part why those who live together can often end up splitting up before they get to the marriage because they re not ready for that commitment. The alternative is they get married but then find they are not committed to sticking it out when things get tough and so they end up adding to the divorce statistics.
Then there are those who live together and manage to make a marriage work or those like Mick and I who never lived together until we were married. It’s not only generational thing. Neither of our children lived with their partners before marriage either. I’d be interested to hear anyone’s thoughts on any aspect of this issue.
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The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Marriage and Your Family
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What’s Wrong With Young Marriages?