Careers that take you away from your spouse on frequent business travel cannot be avoided, and the result can be lonely for both of you. But there are some solutions that can make it less of a burden.
Have frequent contact with each other. Phone calls at a specific time each night can give you both something to look forward to, and be sure to set enough time aside so that the conversation doesn’t feel rushed. Calling your spouse should be a joy, not an obligation. If you are the traveler, make sure that you are aware of any time change and take that into account when making arraignments. If you are the stay at home spouse, try to be accommodating with the knowledge that this is for business, not for pleasure, and that the end result is the nice home that the two of you can share.
Spend time together between trips as much as possible. Scheduling time together should be as much a part of your appointment calendar as the business trips themselves, and make it quality time. Sitting across the kitchen table balancing the check book is important, but it is not really quality time. Go for walks in the evening when the two of you are home, or attend functions together that you both enjoy.
Communication is the key. If you are both up front with each other about how you are feeling, conversations should come easy and the time you have to spend apart need not be so lonely.
Here’s another solution for the stay at home partner. If your partner works for a company where there is a lot of travel by employees, there are probably other spouses who need to talk as well. Find out who these people are, and make some new friends. If you can get together at least once while several of your partners are away, say for a movie night or a potluck, you will be with others who share your position and there is comfort and safety in numbers. Military wives started this tradition, and can vouch for the camaraderie found in these friendships.
If at all possible, perhaps you can plan for your spouse to accompany you on one or more trips a year. This may take some doing but its well worth it, your spouse will get a chance to see what you do while you are away on business, and gain a better understanding of what you do. It can also serve as sort of a mini vacation.
You’ll both have to give a little bit. The stay at home spouse needs to remember why business travel is necessary and the traveling spouse needs to remember how hard it can be for the one left at home. Often we get so caught up in business feeling sorry for our selves that we forget why we do what we do to earn money.
The bottom line is communication, planning, and willingness. With these three ideas, frequent business travel can work in a committed marriage.