How often do you lose your temper with your child? I know I’ve been guilty of that more than I’d like to admit. As a single mother sometimes it seems like every day is a challenge just to stay on top of things and when you child is misbehaving or just plain being obstinate, it’s easy to loose your temper.
Sometimes the easiest thing is to walk away. This obviously only works if your child is older, you can’t walk too far away from a toddler, it’s not safe, but if you can, walk away. Give yourself a time out, explain to your child that you cannot talk about this calmly right now and need a few minutes to think about it, then go in the other room and shut the door. While you are there remind yourself that your child is usually a joy, this is just a bump in the road.
If you can’t walk away, remind yourself to breath. Just take a minute and disengage from the battle of wills and breath. It can help put things in perspective. Teach your child to do the same thing when he is becoming angry. It will help you both.
Act instead of react. Don’t react to your child’s behavior, do something that will improve the situation. Try to come up with a solution that allows everyone to win. Children are in control of so little that sometimes, helping them feel in control of their choices and their environment can change the tone of a disagreement.
If all else fails, pretend this isn’t your child. What would you do if it were your neighbors child, or a niece or nephew. Once you take the personal out of the interaction it is easier to see how you would help someone else’s child in this situation. How would you talk to that child? You certainly wouldn’t yell and freak out at the neighbors kid, so pretend that your little angel belongs to the neighbor.
Everyone loses their temper sometimes, if you do, apologize. Tell your child your behavior was inappropriate. This will help them learn how to react to situations that frustrate them as well.