The first couple of years in marriage can be a make or break time for many couples. I’ve noticed in some of the marriage discussion posts that a number of those experiencing difficulties are often in the first 2-3 year period of marriage.
A couple of things occur to me in this regard. One is that marriage is a big adjustment. It’s different living with another person in a committed relationship. Suddenly you wake up every day with them and see them every evening and it puts a different complexion on the relationship. Even those who live together before marriage can find it different once that piece of paper is signed.
It’s a bit like being a foster parent of a child. At the back of your mind you would always know that if it becomes too hard and untenable you can always talk away. You might think you’d never do it, you mightn’t even consciously think it, but the possibility is always there. It’s something most of us would never consider with our own child.
When a couple is living together they may have a similar attitude whether they are conscious of it or not. If it gets to hard I can always walk away. Those pupil explain where a few people I know who have been living tighter have broken up after they became started talking marriage and became engaged. Mick and I never lived together, so I’m not talking from my own experience but I have seen it happen in other cases. The moment marriage enters the conversation it is like the wheels fall off the relationship. Obviously that is not always the case. I have friends who lived together before marriage and are now happily married and have been for a number of years.
It’s no guarantee ether that those who don’t live together beforehand will adjust happily to marriage either, especially if they go into marriage with a less than committed attitude.
The First Year of Marriage