When a child must stay at the hospital, it usually means surgery or a host of difficult treatments. It also means time away from the familiar comforts of home. This can be a terrifying reality for your child. Here are some ways you can make a hospital visit easier for him or her:
Talk openly about what is going to happen.
If your child is able to speak and comprehend the procedure, be willing to answer her questions and don’t be secretive. A child can usually sense when something is being hidden from her, which will cause even more confusion and fear. Be upbeat, while being honest. “Yes, you will probably feel some pain afterwards. But we’ll get you lots of rest and your favorite movies!”
Personally, I have found that whenever I try to minimize what will be a difficult experience for one of my kids, it backfires. He later becomes angry with me. “You said this wouldn’t hurt!” etc. And then it feels to him as though I betrayed or deceived him, when I only intended to decrease the amount of fear. Honesty is the best policy.
If possible, have a meeting where you and your child meet with her doctor or surgeon. Discuss the procedure in simple terms, and let your child ask questions. Help her develop trust and good feelings about the physician.
Arrive at the hospital prepared! Things to bring:
- Several comfort objects from home, like a toy, blanket, and family picture. A fun new game your child hasn’t seen before would be a good distraction, too.
- A list of your child’s medications, specialists, and dates of previous hospitalizations or surgeries. Have physician phone numbers handy, and the numbers of your neighbors and co-workers, in case your hospital stay is longer than you first thought.
- Things to do: In addition to a few toys or books for your son or daughter, you’ll want something for YOU– to keep yourself occupied during the procedure. Bring a book, stationery, crosswords, magazines, etc.
- Homework or school books from your child’s school. Call the teacher in advance to let her know how long of an absence to expect. Stop by the school and pick up the assignments.
- Personal toiletries for you and your son or daughter…toothbrush and toothpaste, any lotions, shampoos, or soaps your child may need.
- A change of clothes for both of you, including pajamas for him and a comfortable sweatshirt for you to sleep in.
- A pillow from home for you to sleep on. Most hospitals have rather uncomfortable accommodations for the patient’s parent who plans to stay overnight.
Label all your personal items!
Things which may be restricted:
- Cell Phones. You may want to bring phone numbers which would otherwise be stored in your cell phone, so you can use the telephone in your child’s room. Cell phones often cause interference with hospital equipment.
- Latex or rubber balloons. Many people are allergic to latex, and to be on the safe side, most hospitals restrict their use. Mylar balloons are usually permitted.
- Flowers or stuffed animals. You’ll want to check with the nurse beforehand. Some hospitals have restrictions on these items to avoid patient allergies.
- Electrical Gadgets, like blow dryers, radios, portable DVD players, etc. They might seem like a good idea, but you’ll want to get clearance before bringing these items. Battery-operated handheld video game players should typically be permitted, if the noise is not disturbing to other patients.
While you’re there:
If you have permission, walk your child around the hospital floor or push her in a wheelchair several times a day. Exercise and a change of scene will help break up the monotony.
Make friends with other hospital visitors. If the hospital has a playroom or if you share your room with another patient and family, be courteous and friendly. Help your child to see that other children are also going through tough times, and he is not alone. He might even learn that some kids have a harder situation than he does.
If you need to leave your child alone in the room, notify a nurse, and leave something of yours there (like your sweater draped over the chair). This will reassure your child that you are coming back.
Ask if there is a rocking chair available, for you to cradle and rock your child.
Get yourself reinforcements! Enlist the help of family and friends to “spell” you for a while. Take turns with your spouse or family members staying overnight, if necessary, so you can have some nights in your own bed. Your sleep is important, because if you are feeling exhausted you will not be able to best meet the needs of your son or daughter.
A personal note…
My mother met her dearest, closest friend of nearly thirty years while they were hospital roommates. My mother extended words of encouragement to her roommate, whose infant twins were in intensive care. The two then agreed to meet again when they were both home. The friendship of our two families has endured for decades, even beyond my mother’s death in 1994.