Marriage Tips: Learn to Let Go

One way to ease tension in a marriage is to learn to let go. Sometimes, we just try too hard. We have to give ourselves and everyone else a break.

Here is an example:

You start to pull dinner out of the oven, but the pan slips out of your hand. You watch as your dog eats your family’s dinner from the kitchen floor. What do you do?

1) Silently clean the mess, seething inside.

2) Cry or have an outburst.

3) Calmly clean up and look for something else to serve.

4) Blow it off, say, “Oh, well, I really wanted to order a pizza anyway,” and laugh about it over a pepperoni and mushroom.

I wish I could say that I always choose option number three or four, but “always” would be a stretch. I choose them far more often than I used to and my home is much more relaxed, since I have learned to lighten up.

It isn’t always easy to laugh about mishaps, but it is better for you and for your spouse. It’s also better for children or others that live in your household. Reacting with tears, outbursts, or even silent anger will cause tension. Everyone else will be upset too.

By letting go, you give your spouse (and others) a way out of an otherwise uncomfortable situation. You also give yourself a break.

A wise woman once told me to stop looking for perfection. Nothing is going to be perfect. Things are not always going to go the way you planned. This woman used to make herself sick every holiday seeking perfection. One thing out of place and she’d be crying and the entire occasion would be ruined for her. I remember being a lot like that when I was a new wife. I am grateful for her advice, and I am a much happier woman, with a much happier husband and children, now that I’ve learned to let go.

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