As a married woman and a parent, I have to admit there have been times when I resented the inference that having a child is disruptive of normal life. Though, if you talk to many parents – some seem to feel that way that the married life they enjoyed ends when they have children and is unlikely to resume until their children have grown and left the household again.
Children are a Blessing
I know I’ve had this argument with my own husband a time or two. The argument involves the fact that we are very different since our daughter was born, but having a child may be disruptive and it may change life as you know it, but that’s okay. You see – having children is a blessing. Your life changes and your priorities change, but that’s a normal course of human existence. Frankly, when you are a teenager what is important to you then will hardly seem important at all when you are in your 20s. The same can be said of what is important to us in our 20s is hardly of the same importance when we are in our 30s.
What was important to us when we were single is not comparable to what is important to us as married. If you are seeing a trend here, then you are right. You may resist the idea of having children because you think it will limit your freedoms and that you enjoy the richness of life you and your spouse share with the mutual freedom to come and go as you please. But understand as much as I enjoyed our life together when we just lived together and then after we married – becoming parents added a whole new richness and vibrancy to our lives.
Married Parents Are Tied Down
We may be limited in our options at times because of work and responsibility and we may be more tired than our counterparts, but married parents are also likely to be more satisfied. No, we don’t dine out as often and chances are we aren’t going to catch the first showing of a movie on its opening night. No, we don’t get much in the way of downtime perks for having spent an entire day playing patty cakes with our little ones or being short the extra money to pick up some luxury item – but we do have emotional intimacy with our spouses and our children that we may never have experienced if we’d not had kids.
I know that time spent with my husband is no longer taken for granted and that the time we have with our daughter is cherished. Remember – you only get one year for each year of their lives and she is already 6 and in just 12 short years – she will be 18 and looking to spread her wings away from us. You may think that 12 years seems like a long time – but as a woman who’s been married for over 7 years and a parent for over 6 – and let me tell you – that doesn’t seem near enough.
Do you think children are a disruption in your married life?