Let’s face it, going through a separation, divorce, death, or other crisis on the road to single parenthood can create or contribute to some major trust issues for some of us single parents. I’m of the opinion that nowhere do those trust issues play out quite like they do when it comes to money and the single parent family.
The realities of supporting a family and household on one income are one thing that we single parents have to learn to cope with–regardless of how we came to being single parents. However, if we’ve been through a rocky relationship and have come to a place where our trust has been shattered or battered, finances may be one of the main places where we feel and see that challenge. We may not trust that the other parent will be an equal co parent and have learned to expect that child support is not going to be paid, our children’s needs won’t be met, or we will have to struggle and scrap for every penny for the sake of our children. This is not only an un-fun situation to be in, but it has a tendency to bring out the very worst in us as humans!
Once we’ve been to such a precarious place, it can be incredibly hard to climb out and get to a place where we can trust people and identify trustworthy people again. We may be so determined NOT to go through THAT again, that we shut people out altogether and become suspicious and distrusting of just about everyone and everything. Really, this hurts us and our children most of all. It can take time and work, but being able to let go of the distrust and clutching insecurities around money can truly benefit us in the long run. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t take the lessons we’ve learned to heart and develop strong boundaries and a better ability to identify trustworthy people. But, by working through our money and trust issues, we can be more present as parents, and will be open to letting new, trustworthy people into our lives–and develop a confidence that our finances will be enough to support our family.
See Also: Single Parents and Financial Pitfalls to Watch Out For and When Will the Ends Meet?