Month in Review: May in the Adoption Blog, Part One

This month I reported on several conversations I’ve had with my kids. Three of them were basically the “how babies are made” conversations, humorous but revealing insights into what my kids thought at different ages. You can read what I responded at each age and decide if you do, or don’t, want to base my answers on yours! First I had to deal with my older son’s questions about babies and his shock to realize that not all of them (including himself!) were Korean. This story is told in Where Babies Come From, or, Don’t Fall Asleep on an Airplane.

I look at Meg’s curiosity about her birth father in What’s a Birth Father Got to Do with It? and share my realization that it was hard for adopted kids to comprehend this role, since they don’t see the birthfather parenting, and unlike the birthmother, they (hopefully!) don’t understand the physical role he did play. Once again, my older son provides humorous commentary.

These kinds of issues tend to make conversations about sexuality happen in adoptive families. In Birds, Bees and Fish, I brave the conversation with Meg. I realize she has an age-appropriate aversion to the idea of human reproduction when she says very seriously, “I think I’d rather be a fish.”

Another important conversation involved abortion. Meg asked the meaning of a pro-life bumper sticker she’d seen. My head said not to tell her, but my heart said go ahead. I hope it helped her realize that her birthmother must have loved her to withstand the pressure for abortion. This story is told in the blog, Abortion and Adoption: What Her Mom Did.

A conversation that is still unresolved is the one described in Right Summer Precaution, Wrong Reason, Now What?: my daughter’s comment that she always remembers sunscreen because she doesn’t like it when her skin gets darker.

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About Pam Connell

Pam Connell is a mother of three by both birth and adoption. She has worked in education, child care, social services, ministry and journalism. She resides near Seattle with her husband Charles and their three children. Pam is currently primarily a Stay-at-Home-Mom to Patrick, age 8, who was born to her; Meg, age 6, and Regina, age 3, who are biological half-sisters adopted from Korea. She also teaches preschoolers twice a week and does some writing. Her activities include volunteer work at school, church, Cub Scouts and a local Birth to Three Early Intervention Program. Her hobbies include reading, writing, travel, camping, walking in the woods, swimming and scrapbooking. Pam is a graduate of Seattle University and Gonzaga University. Her fields of study included journalism, religious education/pastoral ministry, political science and management. She served as a writer and editor of the college weekly newspaper and has been Program Coordinator of a Family Resource Center and Family Literacy Program, Volunteer Coordinator at a church, Religion Teacher, Preschool Teacher, Youth Ministry Coordinator, Camp Counselor and Nanny. Pam is an avid reader and continuing student in the areas of education, child development, adoption and public policy. She is eager to share her experiences as a mother by birth and by international adoption, as a mother of three kids of different learning styles and personalities, as a mother of kids of different races, and most of all as a mom of three wonderful kids!

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