My last article began discussing the various attachments that infants encounter with their caregiver. As discussed in the article, those attachments often carry over and influence the attachments that we have with our romantic partners as adults.
Infants that had secure attachments with caregivers often grow up to be adults with secure attachments to mates. When a secure attachment is made to a romantic partner, there is no nervousness or anxiety about the relationship. These partners tend to have stronger bonds and a longer lasting relationship. There is more trust and openness in these relationships. Partners tend to have a better time working through problems.
Infants who formed an anxious attachment to their caregiver tend to also be anxious in their romantic relationship. They continuously question the love of their partner and need intimacy and closeness to feel content. They worry that the relationship will end or that their partner will leave them. These people find it hard to find true contentment in the relationship. They often remain on an emotional roller coaster. They become consumed with their relationship and worry about it constantly.
Those who formed a dismissing attachment as an infant with their caregiver tend to keep this same attachment with romantic partners. They do not like the idea of dependency on others. In addition they are not crazy about others being dependent on them. These people continue to want to do things for themselves. They do not feel a need for the emotional support of others.
Most people can quickly identify their attachment type and that of their spouse or mate just from looking over the characteristics that describes each. However, if you would like more details on finding out your attachment type, there is a quiz that you can take to help you better understand your attachments. Try the quiz here.