We were talking about Runaway Brides – Why Do They Flee? earlier today. We talked about cold feet and nervousness, but are those the only reasons why a bride might abandon her groom at the altar? I remember during my wedding preparations, all the hoopla was getting to me and I shared the story of when one of the coordinators approached me and told me that if I wanted to call it off, now was the time before we approached the actual area for the ceremony. The question flabbergasted me then and amuses me now.
A wedding is a rite of passage. For the bride and groom, it’s a time when they are giving up their individual paths in order to merge their life with someone else. For the parents of the bride and groom, it’s about sending their children off into a new life and acknowledging (in some cases for the first time) that their kids are all grown up now. For everyone else, it’s a test of friendship, because I know many singles that think when their friends get married, that’s it for the friendship and sadly, sometimes that is true.
So with all this emotional upheaval surrounding this very definitive rite of passage, it should hardly be surprising that some brides give in to their fears and run away. So if cold feet, jitters or fear is what causes brides to run away – how can you support a woman as she prepares to get married and help prevent her from becoming a runaway bride?
- A wedding is about the bride and groom, no one else. It should be made clear that everyone else’s agenda should be tabled while the bride and groom are allowed to celebrate their wedding how they want to
- Weddings are anticlimactic to all the planning that goes into them, but a marriage is designed to last a lifetime –concentrate more on the relationship rather than on the rest of it
- The bride and groom should decide on the details, ask for input from the rest of the family, but keep the guilt to a minimum
- Talk to each other, if either of you is having strong doubts or there is trouble in your relationship or real fear, postpone the wedding date and concentrate on resolving your problems rather than perfecting the flower arrangements for the bouquets
What other ways can you help support a bride and groom as they prepare for their wedding?