It is extremely hard for a mother to ignore her baby’s cries. Personally, I cannot let my son cry for an extended period if I know he is hungry. I have to drop what I’m doing and nurse him. In other situations, I know it can wait. For example, if he is tired, he will usually fall asleep on his own in a couple minutes if I leave him alone. In those situations, picking him up seems to make him cry harder!
Some people worry that a baby will be damaged emotionally if she cries too much. This is simply not true.
Usually, a baby’s cries hurt the parents more than they hurt the baby. Routinely ignoring a baby’s cries will have a negative effect because the baby’s needs are not being met, but crying for an extended period of time (such as with colic) will not hurt the baby emotionally. A young baby does not have the capacity to understand abandonment nor manipulation.
Some people take this to the other extreme and say that crying is good for the baby’s lungs. This is also not true. There is no physical reason to let a baby cry. It will not strengthen her lungs. If anything, it will make her choke and take in gas, which will only make her cry more.
Babies cry for all kinds of reasons. Check the usual culprits: a wet diaper, hunger, temperature, and gas. Sometimes a baby just needs to be held. If holding your baby does soothe her, don’t put her down because you’re worried about spoiling her. You can never spoil a newborn. If you cannot soothe your baby, do not feel guilty. If your baby is dry, fed, not too hot and not too cold, has no gas and she is still crying while you hold her, it will not hurt her if you put her down and let her cry. Sometimes babies just need to release a little tension and fall asleep.
Crying is simply the way babies communicate or vent their feelings. Crying is the only way a baby knows how to express herself. In a situation where you or I may let out an exasperated sigh or ask for something to be fixed, babies can only cry. In the beginning, babies cry just as much about small problems as they do about big ones. My motto is, “dogs bark and babies cry; it’s just what they do!”