As we were discussing earlier in the Marathon of Motherhood, being a new parent isn’t easy. Moms and Dads both go through a series of changes and challenges that they need to adjust to and life after baby is not always a picnic. Don’t be upset or worried if you are finding it not so easy. All new moms and dads go through their own private struggles. What might be hard for mom can be a snap for dad and what can be a snap for mom can be hard for dad.
The following strategies are not full proof, but hopefully they will help you out as a new mom or dad:
- Parenthood is not easy, but it can get easier – you will both be spending time with your baby and you’ll be getting to know their signals. You’ll develop a better understanding of what behavior is triggered by what need. As you master this form of communication, your own confidence will build – but don’t get too comfortable – each stage will give you new challenges that the previous stage may have helped you prepare for
- Some people are just naturals and the reason they are a natural may be related to having had numerous younger siblings or exposure to babies before they had their own. They may just be nurturers by nature, but again – until you’ve had your own it is very different
- Tension between you and your spouse is normal – Andrea O’Reilly (founding president and director of the Association for Research on Mothering at York University) called having a baby “like throwing a grenade into a relationship” because parents are both running low on sleep, not talking as they used to and their sex life takes a hit, especially in the first few weeks after the baby is born and perhaps even longer. Don’t be afraid to admit that the two of you need your time together now more than ever before.
- Reach out to your family and your friends for support during this transition into parenthood that both parents are going through. Remember, your mom has been there and so has your dad – while they cannot make it easier, they can provide you with perspective and thoughts and if nothing else – they do make good ears
What strategies can you offer to other new parents?
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