Nobody wants to be lonely, but that doesn’t mean you should rush into something that isn’t right. I’ve never liked being single, from the time I was a teenager I always had a boyfriend. I never really took the time to get to know the real me. I was always trying to be the person that I thought they wanted me to be. When I found myself pregnant at the age of 18 I was so afraid of being alone that I rushed back to my ex, even though everything inside me told me it wasn’t right. I did it anyway because I didn’t want to be a “single-mom.” That decision caused my son and I more pain than I ever could have imagined; all because I rushed into something instead of really taking the time to think about the long term consequences.
When I got divorced a few years later I was so focused on the fact that I was single again that I didn’t really give myself time to heal. I was feeling the pain of the divorce so strongly that I jumped back into the dating world before I was really ready again in order to alleviate some of that pain I was feeling. I did not want to be single any longer than I had to. So I dated like crazy in search of the new Mr. Right.
While I didn’t want to be single, I also knew that finding a good match might take some time. The pressure was so much greater this time because not only did I have to find a good fit for me, but I had to find a good fit for my son as well. I hated being single, but I hated being divorced more. I knew I could never put my child through that pain again. This time, I had to listen to both my head and my heart. If that meant being single for a while, that was ok. I had come to realize that there is no shame in being single, it’s much better to do it right this time.